Archive for May, 2010
Ok, this is going to be my first pissed off post ever to the Fleshlight1.com Blog. The reason I’m pissed off is because I get so many spam posts to my blog every single day and it is just ridiculous man. So many of you out there just spam one of my blog entries with shit that doesn’t even make a bit of sense and then you post links to websites where you probalby earn a dime everytime somebody makes a purchase off them. Am I right?
I hope you figured it out that I’m not going to put your post up on my site and help you promote your website. That’s not what this blog is for. If you have no interest in the Fleshlight Male Masturbation Toy then why are you posting responses to the posts that I make? Do you run automatic spammers to blogs all over the place or do you actually take the time to post a bogus response and hope that it will get accepted. I sure hope that it is automatic because what a waste of time if you did it manually.
This blog is for people who either are curious about purchasing a Fleshlight or who already own one or perhaps many Fleshlights like I do. Now I know you people who are posting these shitty fucked up posts don’t own a Fleshlight because if you did then I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have as much time to post worthless comments to blogs. In fact, you’d be spending most of your free time pleasuring your cock with the best male masturbation toy ever created, the FLESHLIGHT!
What I would rather you do is save yourself the 30 seconds it takes to post a dumb ass response trying to get your response listed and just shut the fuck up and buy a Fleshlight already! That’s right, whip out your credit card and purchase a Fleshlight and then shut the fuck up or better yet moan with pleasure when you have your cock stuffed inside the most realistic pussy you will ever fuck. Hell a real pussy barely even comes close to the wonderful feeling of fucking a Fleshlight.
Guys, what I’m looking for on my blog is posts from guys just like yourself that actualy own and use a Fleshlight on a regular basis. I want to hear how you use your Fleshlight and why you love it so much. Tell me your most dirty experiences with your Fleshlight and the unique creative ways in which you use your Fleshlight.
Again, if you are here to just spam a blog post and then move onto the next site why don’t you just skip doing that here and move onto the next site becase you are just wasting your time here.
Holy fucking shit I really wanted to get that out there. Now I feel a whole lot better. I think I’ll go fuck my Fleshlight now and you can just shut the fuck up and move on.
If you are a legitimate person that doesn’t spam every blog you come across then why not
GET A FLESHLIGHT FOR YOURSELF!!!
- My girlfriend let me fuck her ass hole, well sort of…
I feel kind of emarassed writing this post because at first I was ashamed when my girlfriend found my anal fleshlight male masturbation toy under my bed one day while she was cleaning the house. I don’t know how she found my fleshlight because I always put it way under the bed in the middle so it’s not easily seen.
Well, last week when my girlfriend was vaccuming the house she was in my bedroom cleaning while I was out in the garage working on my car and before you knew it she was standing at the entrance to the garage holding my anal fleshlight in her hot little hands. She asked me why I kept a flashlight under my bed? She said are you a little kid and need to use a flashlight at night because you are scared of the dark or something.
First I asked her how she even found my flashlight (shes doesn’t know what a fleshlight is yet) and she said when she was vaccumming one of her bracelets fell off her wrist and actually rolled underneath the bed. She bent over to see where it went and noticed that it had rolled all the way to the middle of the bed and was laying right next to the flashlight. So, just like any woman would do, she pull it out from underneath the bed and brought it out to the garage.
Now I was busted, but right about now I thought this would be a great time to see how she reacted to my fleshlight male masturbation toy. I told her to remove the cap of the flashlight and she did. I really wish you could have seen her facial expression man. She looked like a deer in the headlights and her eyes got huge and her mouth dropped open.
GROSSSS she said, what the hell is this thing? It looks just like an ass hole. WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS THING? I said you make a very good point sweetie, but that is not a flashlight it is actually called a fleshlight and it is a male masturbation toy. She wanted to know when I got it and how many times I use it. I told her that I got it a few months ago and use it at least a couple times a week. She was a bit upset at first because she thought that having sex with her wasn’t good enough. I quickly said that sex with her is great and that I couldn’t ask for anything more in that regard. The reason I had an anal fleshlight is because I knew that you never had anal sex before and didn’t want to even try it ever. So this was my only real way of having anal sex without having to cheat on her with some whore out at the club or something.
All the sudden I started to really score some points with her because she knew that I wasn’t cheating on her and that I was satisfying my anal sex craving needs with my fleshlight instead of having real anal sex with someone else.
What really surprised me next is that my girlfriend wanted to go back into my bedroom because she wanted to try using the anal fleshlight on my cock and thought it would be a huge turn on. Well, I was up for anything right about now and said sure thing let’s go try it out.
We made out for a while and she gave me a really hot blowjob while wearing her cute skimpy blue dress. I was rock solid in a matter of minutes and all of the warm slippery saliva was enough lube for me to slide in and out of my anal fleshlight with great ease. She masturbated my cock with the anal fleshlight and loved watching my cock slide in and out of that tight ass opening. She was getting very turned on right now and I could tell she wanted to fuck.
I said go ahead and put that fleshlight down and out of the way because I was going to give it to her hard and fast right now. She was wearing a skimpy slutty white thong underneath her blue dress and I told her to get into a doggy style position and slide the thong to the side and wrap the strap around her left ass cheek so I could slam my hard cock inside her and pump her like a horny rabbit. I stuffed my cock deep inside her wet pussy and slammed her so hard it made that hot slapping sound each time I thrusted inside of her. I couldn’t take it any longer she was so hot and I was super fucking horny that I said I’m going to cum deep inside your pussy right now and she was screaming go ahead naughty boy fill my pussy with your hot steamy wet cum.
WHEWWWWWWW!!!! NUFF SAID…..
Looks like this guy will be masturbating with his hands again...
Don’t be a cheap ass, your body deserves it!When it comes to taking care of your body do you truly not have any money like the poor bastard in this picture or do you just like to pinch pennies and not spend any money on yourself because you don’t think you deserve it? Which one is it? Before you start to wonder what the hell this article is about let me say that it has to deal with male masturbation and how most guys are just cheap asses when it comes to masturbation.
Now I’m not saying that you have to pay for mastrubation, we all know that isn’t true unless you are paying some hooker to give you a handjob then that is a whole different story. What I mean is that most men out there and I used to be one of them just uses their hand to masturbate every day and that is about as exciting as it gets. Have you ever stopped to think about what you are using to make your cock feel good? What part of your hand is really that sexually appealing to you? Are you saying that your hand turns you on or do you have to watch some port first and then that turns you on? Chances are you watch porn movies and then you get turned on and what do you do next? You unzip your pants, whip your cock out and start jerking off with your hand. Am I right? YES!!!
Why would you think that your hand is the best thing for your cock when it comes to masturbation. Now I don’t know many guys who have a real life woman ready to have sex with them anytime they want just waiting there in the closet. When you are masturbating you are trying to simulate the feeling of having sex right? Duh. Of course. When you grab your cock with your hand does that feel like sex? No it doesn’t. What I’m trying to get at here today is that you really need to start thinking outside of the hand here and opening up your mind and your wallet to something much more enjoyable than your hand will ever be. What I’m talking about today is the Fleshlight Male Masturbation Toy.
The Fleshlight is designed to look just like a real life pussy, ass, or mouth that you can fuck anytime you want and it will actually feel like you are having real sex while you are using the Fleshlight. It just floors me at how many guys are so cheap out ther when it comes to spending money on their body for something that is actually good for it. You probably have no problem at all spending money on cigarettes and alcohol do you? Of course not. Those things are fine if you use them, but they aren’t actually good for your body like masturbation is. Mastrubation is a healthy natural thing that empties the prostate and feels good at the same time. I’m sure you know that cigarettes are over $50 a carton now and did you realize that the Fleshlight is only $64.95? That’s right, you can get yourself a fleshlight for only a bit more than what a carton of cigarettes cost and you get much more pleasure with masturbation than with smoking anyday. Now alcohol on the other hand, I think it is a fucking blast when I drink a few beers before I masturbate with my Fleshlight because then it is like having drunk sex and we all know that’s the best. HAHA!
So, now all you have to do is ask yourself is AM I A CHEAP BASTARD OR AM I A SMART BASTARD? If you are a smart bastard then you should just click on the banner below and buy yourself a Fleshlight and give your hand a rest. The only thing you will need your hand for after you get your very own Fleshlight is putting the lube on your cock before you get ready to have the most amazing masturbation experience ever my man! Again, don’t be a cheap ass when it comes to your sexual needs. Life it too short for that!
Looks like you aren't a cheap ass if you are going to click on this banner!
- Wouldn’t you like to have hot anal sex like this soon?
Perhaps if your girlfriend was Shyla Styles then you wouldn’t have to worry about if you were going to get any anal sex or not because she would be ready and willing anytime you wanted. But if you stop for a moment and step back into reality then you already know that your girlfriend isn’t Shyla Stles and she probably never will be.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, the reason I wanted to write this post is because my girlfriend is absolutely never going to let me try anal sex with her ever. Trust me brother I have asked, begged, pleaded and practically even cried about it before and she still said “hell no!” I’m pretty sure you are in the same boat as I am as you are reading this right now and its probably frustrating you just thinking about it. Am I right? All I have heard about anal sex is that it is fucking amazing and a completely different feeling than having regular pussy sex. The tightness is supposed to feel amazingly good around your cock and I hear the temperature inside a woman’s ass hole is 4 degrees warmer than the inside of her pussy.
Now all you guys out there who have tried anal sex my hat goes off to you because I consider you one of the lucky ones. Now just because your girlfriend or wife won’t let you have anal sex with her probably isn’t a good enough reason to dump her is it? My guess is not because if she has plenty of other good features then you might as well hold onto her. Especially if she is a wild one in the sack anyways. If the only thing not going for her is not wanting to have anal sex then I really have the solution for you my friend.
Since this is a blog all about Fleshlights, I better get to the point for Pete’s sake! If you didn’t already know, there is an anal Fleshlight male masturbation toy out that is supposed to feel just like having real anal sex. Since I’ve never actually had real anal sex you better be damn sure that I’m going to want to have the next best thing right? Hell yeah, the anal Fleshlight is visually stimulating to the sight and it really makes my cock super hard in just a few seconds flat after whipping it out and lubing up my cock. Since Shyla Styles is one of my favorite pornstars ever I usually like to have one of her movies going at the same time I’m using my anal Fleshlight because then it makes the experience of having anal sex even more enjoyable because I can fantasize about actually having sex with Shyla at the same time.
In case you have never owned a Fleshlight before, it is only the best thing a man could ever own. We all know that pleasurable male masturbation is a part of our everyday lives right guys? I know it is for me and being able to have hot fast anal sex anytime I want truly is something that I’ll spend my hard earn money on anyday.
The anal Fleshlight is something I have owned for a few months now and I wanted to share my thoughts about it with you today. You can pick one up for only $64.95 with the original texture and if you want to really spice things up there are six different other textures to choose from for only $5.00 more. Basically you can have more anal sex than you cock could ever imaging for just pennies a day. The Fleshlight will last you a lifetime with proper care and changes are you have many many years ahead of you so you are really going to get your money’s worth, trust me.